April 24th

April 25. Supposedly the perfect date. 

While I wouldn't pretend to have the opinions of a beauty queen or nothin like that, I do have the opinions of a person who spends a lot of time on the internet. That's got to give me at least a little bit of credit, right? I mean, think of all the things that you've learned from the internet. And all of them true!! Amazing. 

Anyway, (back on track) it is my unprofessional opinion that April 24 is actually the perfect date. Anyone looking at meteorologic histories can see that the combination of ideal temperature, form and amount of precipitation, and amount of daylight clearly combine perfectly on April 24. This essay will attempt to persuade the reader that the most perfect day of the year is not, in fact, April 25, but April 24. 

The mean temperature of any given day is arguably the most influential factor when ranking perfectionism. Studies show that people are more fertile, and more likely to brush their teeth when the temperature of the room ranges from 70-75 degrees F. Higher temperatures tend to promote Godzilla-itis whereas lower temperatures usually result in binge eating. Taking this information into account, it is clear that the perfect day must have a historic mean temperature ranging between 73 and 78 degrees F. While I am much too lazy to look up any actual information regarding historic data, since yesterday was 77 degrees F, we'll go ahead and say that it counts for years past. 

Precipitation is another important factor when deciding what the perfect date it. Not only the amount, but also the form must be taken into account. Anyone with a brain will know that the most undesirable form of precipitation is wind, while the most desirable is a single, cumulonimbus cloud in the sky. This has only happened one time in recorded history, and it was on October 2. While this is nowhere near April 24, traditionally, April 24 exhibits cumulonimbus clouds while April 25 usually has only cirrus and hippo stratus. 

The last important factor is amount of daylight during the night before the date in question. The only recorded instance of any daylight through the night occurred in approximately 1 AD. Since this is so long ago, the correct and accurate date of this occurrence is unknown. So really, my argument on this point is completely invalid. Moving on.

For these reasons, it should be quite clear to you now that the date containing the most perfection is April 24 and not April 25. In conclusion, I would just like to say that, though Cheryll is probably the nicest person you will ever meet, she is wrong.